Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Exam

We met outside, for that is the normal place to meet when the doors are locked. Many students littering the sides of the intersecting roads that surround the ancient red sandstone building. It was probably once a church and maybe still is, but on this morning it was to be used for a very different purpose. There we huddled like cows before a branding, knowing that what lay before us would bring no joy, yet left choice less by the powers that be. 925 a.m. the doors open and we are led into a room, it is just more than dimly lit by the stain glass windows that embellish its ceiling. We take our seats in the tiny desks which form long rows that nearly disappear into the distance. We are surprised to see our professor a tiny spec in the front of the room, she seemed so harmless before today. I'm sitting near the back of the room yet we can hear her cackle, such a small thin lady with dark wispy hair, most of us didn't even see it coming. We should have known she would be harsher than her friendly presence tricked us into thinking, it wasn't like she hadn't warned us. She had with her a large clock on a stick that was left standing at the front of the room, much like an extra watchful eye over her students. The room looked very much like that of the Hogwarts dining hall it just lacked floating candles and ghost...or so I thought.
The so called exam papers were there in front of us, on our desks looking innocent. I looked up from my desk to find Scott sitting to my right. "oh no" I thought "they got him too". There was nothing either of us could do, we watched in horror as a kid in front of us opened his exam before being allowed to do so, his paper came to life and tried to bite him, he narrowly avoided the paper, but it tried again, bit his shoulder then with strength much greater than any paper should ever be allowed to have it hurled him screaming up into the air and swallowed him whole as he came back down. we heard a muffled belch as the paper came to rest on the now human less desk. A young girl came in late and moments later took her seat where he had been. Scott and I stared at each other in disbelief.
Somewhere behind us huge doors closed with an ominous thud. a light breeze traveled through the room, "probably from the pressure of the door closing" I thought. Then our professor stood up in the front of the room and said something in a commandingly squeaky voice. No one heard her back where we were sitting, but suddenly exam papers were being opened all around me. One kid to my left had an exam spit something on him and his skin started to disappear, a girl in front of me was attacked by a swarm of bees, I saw two exams become whirlwinds and start torturing their student's. One kid behind us started sprouting mushrooms in all kinds of awkward places.
I looked at my exam, it was so innocently laying there before me looking harmless. I pulled out my mechanical pencil clicked it a few times for good measure, then ripped open my exam paper and dropped my pencil to stab its life out.
What happened over the next two hours is much to graphic for me to let the readers hear about. What is important is that Scott and I limped away in the end, which is more than can be said about some of the other students. Scott barely made it...at one point during the battle I glanced at him and he was being held in a hypnotic trance by his exam. I never got the chance to drag him out but somehow he recovered on his own. One secret we learned is that exams do not like pencils, they say to always use pen, but I think they lie to us to make the students easier to handle.
More exams soon, this isn't what we signed up for.

1 comment:

  1. I've heard the old saw that "The pen is mightier..." but now - insight on the power of the pencil! About time old No. 2 got his due.